Sexting

With all the surprising uproar concerning Congressman Anthony Weiner's sexting escapades, it seems that we should find out what makes such a thing wrong. On one of the news shows this morning there was a panel debating as to whether or not sexting constituted adultery. The woman said it did; the man said it didn't (or if it did, that's just how men are and get over it).

What Makes It Right?
As we debate the issue, I have divided it into some of the arguments I have heard. Although not exhaustive, it is a good representation.
So, maybe it's...
Stupidity - What if he had just not posted on his public twitter account? If he could have kept it all private, then maybe this would have been just fine.
Admission - If he had just come out and been honest from the beginning, then it would not have been near as bad.
Age - at least it wasn't done with someone underage. (although there is evidence that he was texting at least some underage girls) So, is that what makes it wrong...age?
Forgiveness - it seems his wife graociously is willing to forgive and stand by her man. As long as you are forgiven by those who love you most, is it then okay?
Public opinion - Is it okay if a large majority of the voting public say it's okay? Over 50% of his constituency believes he has done nothing to jeopardize his job. They approve of the job he is doing regardless of the latest disclosures.

Practical Ways to Make Your Decision
I write this today with great empathy. There is not one of us that has done something that we would be ashamed of if the entire "twitterverse" knew about it. Yet I still have to ask, where do we draw the line? How can we really know what's wrong? Is there anything in my own life that I need to heed?

My wife would be a good start. What would she think? I would hope that I would be doing the kind of things that she would give hearty approval to. Something that she could participate in with me...if she wanted to.

My conscience should be another way of making this decision. Is it something that I think is right. Before you get upset with me, this is not final way I should determine my activity. But the reason I include this is because we can knoow osomething is wrong before anyone because we know how it makes us feel. We know our own hearts and minds better than anyone else. We live with ourselves. If your conscience tells you, "No," then it should be a no.

My friends can help me as well. There are things they can see in my life that I am blind to. So, find out from them how far you should be going. Then be willing to listen to what they have to tell you. Also, if you can't or won't tell your friend, then it is probably a "no-go" already.

My Lord is the ultimate standard in my life. To use a NASCAR term, He is the "go, no-go" template for my life. 

Here's how that template works. When the race car is brought to inspection, the inspectors have a metal standard that goes over the car to determine if it is within parameters given by the rules committee. When that template is placed over the car, it either touches the body of the car (that's a go), or it doesn't (that's a no-go). If it's a no-go, then there is work to do before the inspectors give approval for the race. 

Go or No-Go?
That's very similar to the understanding we are given in 1 Corinthians 9:
"you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize." (v. 24)

Then the Bible goes on to say:
"I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified." (v. 27)

So then, what should be my template for adultery?

1. When I look at or think about someone, do I want to have sex with them? 
It's what Jesus described as lust in your heart. He simply is speaking to the religious, self-righteous people of His day that thought they had it all together and challenged them by saying if you don't have a physical relationship with someone, that's fine, but if you think you can lust after them and think you're doing okay with God, you're in trouble. 
Here are the words of Jesus:
But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28

2. Can you lawfully fulfill what you are suggesting with your words or actions?
That means, do you say things to another or do activities with another that you can't fulfill with them and still adhere to the standard God gave us? 

For instance, you might say to someone, "I want to have sex with you." Is that wrong if you have no intention of having sex with them?

Another example is this. Are you kissing and caressing another person in such a way that causes them to want  more than the standard will allow?

The standard we are given tells us:
this is God's will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, so that each of you knows how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who don't know God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

Sexual Immorality Defined
In case there is any misunderstanding, sexual immorality means sex that cannot be done when God is the moral gate-keeper. It includes any sex that is done with any one that is not your husband or wife. It also includes any sex act that has the word sex in it. That is all sexual immorality.

But you say, as did the congressman, I never met them and had sex, so is it adultery? If you are asking another person to do something that you cannot physically fulfill with them, then it is defrauding them. I Thessalonians 4 goes on to warn us:
"one must not transgress against and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you. For God has not called us to impurity but to sanctification. Therefore, the person who rejects this does not reject man, but God" 1 Thessalonians 4:6-8

if you would like to do more more study, then go to Bible Gateway and search for the words sexual immorality, fornication, and adultery. I know you will see what kind of standard God has for us.

Our Loving Heavenly Father
One final thought, God is not a cosmic killjoy. To the contrary, God created sex. He thinks it is wonderful. He even included a book that tells us of the bliss of a faithful, loving sexual relationship with our husband or wife. He created us to enjoy our husband and wife in marital bliss all of our lives. He loves us so much that He gives us right and wrong so we can live the best life possible (Ask the congressman if he would recommend what he has done to others to help spice up their life). God gives us these standards because He wants to provide for us and protect us. That's a Father's heart for His child. 

So, is sexting adultery? Yes, it is.