7 Steps to Better Parenting

7 Steps to Better Parenting

Thought it would be good to take a look at the steps we can take to get started on the road to better parenting. God wants so much for our children to grow up and be all they can be. So much of that begins at an early age. I've always said that we're fooling ourselves if we can't break our child's will when they are 2 and then think we will be able to deal with them when they are 12. As difficult as it is, we must break their will (not their spirit) when they are young. My children can attest to what it takes...great love, great discipline, and TIME. I love my children greatly but never backed away from the hard part of parenting, discipline. It's as much discipline on me as it is on them. Here's some great ways to start the process.


1. Teach Christian values. As parents we need to identify, live, and communicate our values. If we value truth and honesty, we must be honest and adhere to biblical standards. We need to believe and teach our teens that the only truth in the world that matters is in the Scriptures. You are deceived, because you don’t know the Scriptures or the power of God (Matt. 22:29).

2. Express love and acceptance of our children. Even when their behavior disappoints us, we must continue to let them know that we love them. Genuine love for our children will grow out of our awareness that we are genuinely loved by God. It’s not always easy, but unconditional love is necessary. We also need to teach our children about God’s love. God’s love is solid and secure. He adopted us into His family, and He knows our needs and will provide them. Your teens need to know and accept these truths.

3. Be consistent with discipline. Our goal is that our children will ultimately become self-disciplined and self-controlled. If discipline does not eventually become internal, no amount of outside pressure to conform will make a teenager a spiritually healthy person.

4. Pray continually for and about our children. God is more concerned for them than we possibly can be, so He welcomes our conversations with Him about them. With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the Spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints (Eph. 6:18).

5. Worship together as a family. Participating in regular worship, both corporately and personally, will move us all toward spiritual health. Again, I cannot hope that my child will grow to be a faithful worshiper of the Lord if I refuse to do so myself. Let worship become a lifestyle for you, and your teens will likely catch it from you. Also, remember that personal and family worship are important as well.

6. Be active participants in the work of the church. Remember to balance your time with your family and in your church activities; but, again, if you want your youth to participate in church activities, you must do the same. Dropping them off at youth activities will not teach them to be faithful church members.

7. Participate in ministries that are designed for you as a parent. Not every church does this, but when a seminar or class is offered to help parents be better at their jobs, be sure to go. It will communicate volumes to your teen when they see that you are trying to improve in your parenting skills.

My thanks to Chuck Gartman. He served as a youth minister for more than 20 years, has parented three daughters through the teen years, and is presently Assistant Professor of Christian Studies at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, Texas.

Pastor Trey Rhodes

Does God Hate You?

For those who don't know, Westboro Baptist Church, a "church" of 70 people made up of the relatives of Fred Phelps, is coming to Charleston on March 23 and 24 to protest at local area high schools, government installations, the Jewish Community Center, and at a convention. According to their protest calendar, they will be at Wando High School to protest on March 23 between 3:30 and 4:00 p.m.

What the WBC preaches drives a stake in the heart of the God. After having been on their website (don't go and give them the pleasure of knowing you gave them a hit) I can tell you that what they preach is nothing but hate. BEWARE! Here is truth: Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 (HCSB) Their message of hate is nothing but darkness and is spoken from the heart of the one who is hate, the dark lord, Satan.

The truth of the matter is they are anything but Baptists or Christians or a church. IGNORE THEM! That is the best way to make your point. Be indifferent to their message. I can tell you, nothing but hatred and bitterness spew from their mouths using filthy perverse words. Be sure, Oceanside Church, nor any God-fearing, Bible-believing church has anything to do with them or their perverse, unbiblical message.

Here is a position paper that our convention has published and I repeat so that you can understand how Christians, regardless of denomination, can and should feel about the WBC:

(The SBC) shares concern over the unbiblical views and offensive tactics of Fred Phelps and his followers. His church is not in any way affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention, and his extreme position not only stands in contrast to ours, more importantly they stand in contrast to God's Word. God has stated clearly in His Word that homosexual behavior is sinful, but He also clearly

states His love for sinners, including homosexuals, and that He offers forgiveness through Jesus Christ for all who repent and place their faith in Him.The SBC is not in a position to take official action regarding Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church. Indeed, he has picketed the SBC Building in Nashville and annual meetings on numerous occasions because he believes the SBC to be part of the problem. (SBC.net, FAQ page)

To better understand what the church believes and how we respond to a world that is dying to see love and mercy and forgiveness, see this article: Night and Day.

So, does God hate you? Let me quote that verse that we have heard so many times, spoken from the mouth of Jesus: "For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16). In a nutshell, we can be assured that God loves not only those who love him, but all the world. That there is hope for all who believe in Him; those who believe will NOT go to hell. While WBC takes on the job of judge, jury, and executioner, God's cry from heaven is "I love you. I sent my own precious Son for you. Come as you are. Hate you? I cannot because I am love. My love for will never change Waiting on you." God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.